Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
