I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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