he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
