I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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