He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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