he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize