oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
