I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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