I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
