I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
