Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.

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(239): View more from Florida

just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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(906): View more from Michigan

Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies

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(512): View more from Texas

If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.

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(810): View more from Michigan

She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.

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(847): View more from Illinois

We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them

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(501): View more from Arkansas

nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative

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