Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
