Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
