So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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