I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
