i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize