Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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