i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
