My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
