Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
