thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
