yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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