I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
