i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
