I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize