You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Two words: blizzard sex
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
