His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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