super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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