That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
