She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
