he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
