I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
