And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
