First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
