i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
