Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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