Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just invented taco cereal.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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