no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize