No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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