haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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