I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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