clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
