I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
