so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize