my mouth tastes like poor choices
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Damn victory sex feels great
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
