Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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