from now on my penis is your penis
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i now understand why vodka
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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