If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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