I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
