My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He kissed a someone with a penis
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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