Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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