I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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