Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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