he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize