'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
