Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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