As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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