So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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