You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
