Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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