Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
